Frum dating blog

04-Dec-2017 09:14

My advice is that rather than starting a relationship with a religious Jew not knowing the specific ways to convert (you should consider them first, and then consider whether you want to convert, because the former is easier to figure out and can be the deal breaker), do some extensive research and talk through it earlier in your friendship/relationship.

See if the ways are amiable to you two, or remotely practical.

So, this email I write is to ask for a forum to warn people of the dangers of trying a dating relationship between a non-Jew and a dati modern orthodox Jewish guy, even if they find themselves very compatible otherwise.

Many people like me, I realised from the internet, went into such relationships thinking that “shiksas are for practice” is such an unethical thing that Jews would either not do it or if they do it, it would be pretty obvious that that person is not a good man in general.

There are also resources for helping Jews practice their religion, and tools for learning about Hebrew, Yiddish and other Jewish languages.

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I believe that the problem lies not in frum-women’s looks or in frum-men’s shallowness, but in the system of shidduch dating itself and the yeshivish world’s approach to interaction between the sexes.

To explain: The core idea behind shidduch dating is that since men and women in the yeshivish world do not meet or socialize in any informal way, they require some assistance in meeting potential partners when they decide that they want to get married.

In some cases people are set up by friends or family who know of a suitable member of the opposite sex, but the number of possibilities offered in this pool of potential mates is rather slim.

Dear Shragi, I have been following your blog since my orthodox Jewish ex-boyfriend dated me, and with all the intentions to convert after reading on Judaism for months (i.e.

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I didnt want to convert just for him), having learnt Hebrew for months and after picking up partly keeping shabbat and kosher, and going to Israel to visit him for some time, he dumps me saying that he doesn’t think he wants to go through all the trouble of conversion and marriage registration outside of Israel with me after learning the details of how that could be done. However, half a year ago, when I was skeptical about starting a relationship with him, he was encouraging saying we should give ourselves a chance.

There has been much talk about Yitta Halberstam’s Jewish Press article about the crisis of shidduch dating.