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08-Aug-2017 10:54

In both profiles he makes it clear that he is “a trans guy” and that people should “only message me if you’re cool with that.” Part of the need for this complicated negotiation is that OKCupid doesn’t allow users to identify as “transgender”—just “male” or “female.” The site has been in the news this week after cofounder Christian Rudder announced that developers secretly changed some people's compatibility ratings and removed profile photos to learn more about behavior on the site.

While some have criticized OKCupid for showing people false or manipulated content as an experiment, the site's failure to accommodate transgender users may be a larger and more long-standing ethical dilemma.

Winter La Mon is a 28-year-old transgender man who lives in New York City.

He joined the online dating site OKCupid six years ago, about three years before he transitioned.

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That didn’t stop the intense expression of confusion that spread across his face.“So you’re a man? “Do you know how lucky you are that I’m not, like, crazy?

of the time, people just want to have sex with transgender people because it’s some sort of fetish for them. saying about ourselves/family/interests, we can tell our date is just thinking about us as a fetish.

The majority of us don’t want to be seen as a fetish and want to be loved and respected like EVERY. It makes us feel ignored rather than listened to and it's The Worst.

He dates men and women, both transgender and cisgender (a term for people who aren't trans).

After La Mon transitioned from female to male, he didn’t change his gender to “male” on his OKCupid profile; instead, he started a second profile where he identified as “male.” He kept the female profile active because he thinks that some women who typically date other women might also be interested in dating transgender men. We’d just met, so I can only imagine the infinite possibilities swirling in his head.